Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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