I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
