I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
