i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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