What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing