Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
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i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
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Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it