It's Friday. Sex?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
