It was confusing and full of hummus
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
