wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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