Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize