I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
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woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize