sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
