whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
