I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize