how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
