things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
