i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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