Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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