What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
