i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
