you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
