i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
