I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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