You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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