OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
