I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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