he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
