I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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