guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
