Define "chronic" masturbator.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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