You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize