Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize