You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
