Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
organizing the empties. That sober.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
