am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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