yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
