Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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