Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize