The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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