Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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