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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I think I can smell my own vagina right now

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  does that include her cleaning your bowl?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Im calling him

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  can i bring anything?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  is there a theme i should know about?

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening

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• (408): View more from California

  Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?

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• (212): View more from New York

  Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.

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• (631): View more from New York

  We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.

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