We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃