Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

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(847): View more from Illinois

So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?

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(718): View more from New York

Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....

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