The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes