is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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