How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
