i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
