where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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