I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
