Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
