omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
