TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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