I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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