The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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