I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
...so i touched it.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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