If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This can only be settled by a dance off.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
