"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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