I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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