if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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