i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Do vagina's smell?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
