when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
